“Be kind.”
“Think about how that made them feel.”
“Show some empathy.”
As teachers, we say things like this all the time. We want our students to be thoughtful, compassionate people who recognize how their words and actions affect others.
But empathy is a skill, not an instruction.
Telling students to “have empathy” doesn’t necessarily teach them how to recognize what someone else may be feeling, consider another perspective, or choose an appropriate response.
If we want students to demonstrate empathy and social awareness, we must give them opportunities to practice those skills.
The good news? Teaching empathy doesn’t have to mean adding another huge unit to an already packed curriculum.
1. Start with Sympathy vs. Empathy
Students often hear sympathy and empathy used interchangeably, so this is an easy place to begin.
I explain it simply:
Sympathy is feeling for someone.
Empathy is trying to understand with someone.
If a student tells a friend they failed a test they studied really hard for, sympathy might sound like:
“I’m sorry. That really stinks.”
An empathetic response might be:
“You worked really hard for that. I can understand why you’re disappointed. Do you want to talk about it?”
Empathy doesn’t require students to know exactly how another person feels. It asks them to pause, notice, listen, and try to understand someone else’s experience.
2. Teach Students to Notice Social Cues
Before students can respond empathetically, they have to recognize that there may be something to respond to.
Ask students to consider:
- What is the person saying?
- What does their tone suggest?
- What do you notice about their body language?
- What information might we be missing?
That last question matters.
Social cues aren’t universal, and we can’t know exactly how someone feels simply by looking at them. Instead of teaching students that a specific behavior always means a specific emotion, teach them to notice clues and consider possibilities without assuming too quickly.
That’s social awareness.
3. Practice Perspective-Talking
One small change in questioning can make a big difference.
Instead of always asking:
“How would YOU feel?”
try:
“What might THIS PERSON be experiencing?”
When students answer the first question, they’re still looking at the situation through their own experiences.
The second asks them to consider that another person may have different experiences, priorities, or reactions.
Then push the thinking:
- What makes you think that?
- Could someone else interpret this differently?
Now students aren’t simply identifying an emotion. They’re practicing perspective-taking.
4. Use Scenarios, Not Just Definitions
A student can memorize the definition of empathy without becoming any more empathetic.
That’s why I love using realistic scenarios.
Maybe a classmate suddenly stops participating in a group project. Maybe someone’s friend doesn’t respond to their messages. Maybe a student laughs after someone gives an incorrect answer.
Instead of immediately deciding what happened, students can ask:
- What did you notice?
- What might be happening?
- What assumptions are we making?
- What could you say or do next?
There doesn’t always need to be one perfect answer. The discussion and reasoning are often more valuable than finding the “correct” response.
5. Let Students Hear Different Perspectives
This is one of my favorite parts of scenario-based SEL.
Two students can read the exact same situation and interpret it completely differently.
Instead of immediately telling them who’s right, ask:
“What made you see it that way?”
Now students hear perspectives they may never have considered on their own.
That’s part of developing social awareness too- recognizing that other people don’t automatically experience situations the same way we do.
Empathy is Something we Practice
One SEL lesson won’t transform every interaction students have.
But repeated opportunities to notice, listen, question assumptions, consider another perspective, and respond intentionally can help students strengthen those skills over time.
Instead of only telling our students to “be kind,” we can help them understand what empathy and social awareness actually look and sound like.
And that’s a much more useful place to start.
Want a Ready-to-Use Way to Practice These Skills?
I created my Empathy and Social Awareness Bundle to give students several ways to practice empathy and perspective-taking through scenarios, discussion, social-cue analysis, and reflection.
It includes:
- Recognizing Social Cues Worksheet
- Social Awareness Discussion Prompt
- Sympathy vs. Empathy Journal Prompt
- Sympathy vs. Empathy Scenarios
- Sympathy vs. Empathy Worksheet
Use the activities together as an SEL sequence or pull individual pieces whenever your students need some extra practice.
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